Heather's Farm

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

3. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

4. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

5. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

6. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

7. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."

8. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

9. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

10. Say excitedly to the nearest person, "Guess what?" then pause and go back to whatever you were doing.

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